Double mastectomy ke baad mirror mein khud ko nahi pehchaan paayi! Kya reconstruction se wapas aaungi?

didi log, aaj kuch zyada hi heavy feel ho raha hai. Mera double mastectomy hua hai 2 saal pehle, breast cancer ke baad. Ab reconstruction surgery ka wait hai, but honestly... I don't even know if I want it. Kya karungi? Mera body pehle jaisa kabhi nahi hoga.

Kal mirror dekha toh laga jaise koi aur hai. Woh curves, woh softness—sab chala gaya. Meri mom kehti hai "beta, tum toh zinda ho, yeh sab chhoti cheezein hai." But unhe nahi pata ki jab raat ko akeli hoti hoon, toh woh flatness meri identity chheen leti hai. Mera body ab "female" jaisa nahi lagta. Dating life toh bilkul khatam. Koi approach kare bhi toh sochti hoon, "woh toh dekhega scars, fir kya sochega?"

Abhi chemo ke side effects nahi hai, but mentally I'm struggling. Kya koi aur bhi yeh feel karta hai? Ki breast cancer ne sirf boobs nahi liye, balki woh feeling bhi le li ki main ek desirable woman hoon? Kya reconstruction se yeh wapas aayega? Ya main hamesha aise hi feel karungi? Please koi batao, kyunki bahut akelapan ho raha hai.