Bhai therapy aur meds se brain ka charger kharab hai - kya kabhi theek hoga ya zindagi bhar dead phone banke rahunga?

Yaar... just came from therapy session. Therapist said "neuroplasticity" and "rewiring" but my brain feels like a dead phone that won't charge. Last month I was in hospital, wanted to end everything. Now I'm out, parents know everything, and the shame is crushing me. They look at me differently. Like I'm broken glass they're scared to touch.

I'm on these new meds, escitalopram I think? 10mg. Side effects are weird - nausea, weird dreams, and I feel even more numb sometimes. Is this normal? Will it ever work? My therapist says give it 4-6 weeks but it's been 2 weeks and I feel nothing except tired.

Mummy cries when she thinks I'm not looking. Papa doesn't say anything, just avoids eye contact. I feel like I ruined everything. Like I'm a burden.

But I'm trying. I went for a walk yesterday. 10 minutes. Small thing but I did it.

My question for you all: For those who survived severe depression - did your brain actually feel happy again? Like genuinely happy, not just "okay" or "less sad"? Or is this just my new normal forever? I need some real hope yaar.